12 Jun, 2009 - Christianity and UU

I came across this rather interesting reference on CUUMBAYA, admittedly from quite some time ago, which I am posting below:

In the latest post in the "Peter Morales for UU President" blog, Morales Addresses “Humanist/Theist” Question, Peter addresses the following question: "Our denomination seems to be undergoing a philosophical shift. Twenty years ago in our congregation, the concept of a “Christian UU” seemed nonsensical. Now our congregation has a Christian UU minister and many of the secular humanists of previous generations, despite the acceptance of diversity that we say we believe in, are feeling bereft - bereft of a sanctuary from the world of deity (Christian or otherwise). The UU church was the one place in many UU’s lives where those who lived to a different drummer, theologically speaking, could live without the expectation that they subscribe to a divine being. Where they could go on a spiritual or religious journey without having to subscribe to the supernatural. How will you lead us as we struggle with this fundamental challenge?"

Truth is, I don't have a clue how that could be done, and I am coming across that challenge more and more often. Rightly or wrongly, I often feel judged by religious people for being spiritual and not set into one tradition, yet ostracised in equal measure by atheists. Several close friends of mine are atheist and certainly do not view themselves as militant in any sense and yet have an uncanny habit of dismissing or angrily debating precisely such issues. With one friend in particular, spirituality is simply not mentioned. I am saddened by this; it is such a huge and beautiful part of my life that I am almost ashamed that I cannot accept his rebukes with more strength. I cannot.

I now find myself in the UK - rather different from the Canadian tradition I have grown accustomed to. I am suddenly finding myself in precisely this divide between the North American UU and the "Christian U" across the pond. I am struggling, I admit. It is certainly not that I am unwelcome, or rejected by Unitarians here, but their worship is very Christian. The Lord's Prayer was read, hymns were decidedly Anglican in style and even the building itself was intensely Christian. The central organisation in the UK is even entitled 'Unitarian and Free Christian Churches'. Different indeed.

I miss my home congregation. I miss its people, its building, its community. The flame at its centre and the light it brought to my life. I miss my friends from beyond the community who accepted UUism as a valid choice, albeit one which didn't suit them. Here, I feel very alone. My university is of equally little consolation, even putting stop to any hint of a multi-faith group being established on the campus. The chaplains are intensely Catholic/Christian. Thus, any mention of my potential Theological study was swiftly followed by my apparent need to hold strict loyalty to the Anglican Church. Umm... no.

I had found a beautiful home, with wonderful, warm-hearted friends and even love - now I have left this all behind and am left with very little consolation.

I hope to find a home here. I hope to find a community that welcomes my out-of-the-box views, and perhaps lacking the Lord's Prayer on Sunday repeat. Thus, I shall keep trying, even within the Unitarian UK groups, to find a more inclusive home. I am not feeling bereft of a sanctuary from Deity distinctions, I rather wish a sanctuary didn't need to be there at all.

3 Apr, 2009 - Exciting news!

On a separate note: yesterday, a piece of work I had completed was handed back to me with an A+. And an offer of work. Potential publication. Several of my tutors wish to copy it for their records, and a copy will be entering a major library.

I am over the moon, and have suddenly remembered why I love what I do, despite the copious amounts of caffeine, late nights and distinct lack of pay. Just sometimes, life is all worth the effort.

3 Apr, 09 - Melancholy

I have a friend who trusts me, deeply, with her personal memories and problems. I am honoured by this, and always hope to be worthy of it.

But what do you say when they simply stop listening? Her boyfriend committed suicide two weeks ago and she has been struggling ever since. I think she guessed that something like this might happen but simply blocked all thoughts away, both blocking her own fears and his closest connection to life. Her guilt is tremendous, although not totally justified. She has never been the most practical, down-to-earth sort of person; although she has suffered greatly, her mind resides wholly in her past and her future, in what she might one day change in the world.

She misses the present completely, because she fears that that will hurt more than her memories. Each time she is in the present, she is in her imagination, in her own world that allows for liberty to create and break the rules. She needs grounding in the present, settling into an experience of the real world that is ambivalent, not coloured by such strong emotions that rock her each time she moves.

I don't know how to help. I have stopped knowing what to say to her, because I know she won't listen. Or at least, I didn't listen. I am fairly sure that I am a terrible listener anyway. But beyond being there, I don't know what to do.

She is missing her life by reaching so far into her imagination or into her past - and she is such a fantastic gift to this world.

Sometimes, people are confused by my personality too - so I can try, and of course, fail to understand. I am often my happiest when I appear most stressed, or upset, or alternatively, most boisterous and active. I find great joy in sitting, on my own, quietly contemplating - it took me a while to learn joy in this. I love being with my friends, but I always have a streak of melancholy. Yet that is a joy to me. It helps me to see the world in balance, as clearly as I am able. I have even lost friends because I appear quiet and melancholic, when their enjoyment is derived from clubbing and activity. I must have seemed, and still seem overly depressed, saddened by the world. I understand the difficulty of others to see this as joy.

I hope she may be able to find some joy, even in melancholy.

I wish I knew how to help.

9 Mar, 2009 - Have a little faith...

A few news items caught my attention in the newspaper, which I thought I would share with you.

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Apparently, Italians have been instructed by the Roman Catholic bishops of Italy to go low-tech for Lent, cutting off all technological appliances and refraining from that apparently oh-so-Italian hobby of texting on one's mobile phone every Friday during this period. One diocese suggested that the faithful should not watch television for the month. This can be stretched, for the truly faithful, to cookers, microwaves, washing machines and all those little conveniences of life.

If one wishes to retreat to the true medieval attitude to Lent, one can purchase a washing wrangle, camp in the wilderness in a snow-cave or under bushes and perform some self-mutilation, all for aesthetic glory. Or the faithful could hire a maid for the month, thus fulfilling such requirements.

All this at the same time as the Church is stretching out of its borders and into the internet, with an official Papal YouTube channel. Pope Benedict XVI himself praised social networking sites such as Facebook for their ability to bring people together and spread the word - and yet, those who wish to have a non-face-to-face conversation, or sit blankly watching something on TV, are somehow deemed less "faithful".

Being "faithful" should certainly not be associated with how much TV one watches, or whether one owns a vacuum cleaner! Perhaps that's a personal view, but I think this may be stretching it a little too far. Encourage people to have conversations with each other, rather than with a box or a screen - but do not condemn those who don't! If such things are enjoyed in moderation, go for it!

I do not believe in giving up things for Lent. I am not Catholic, not Christian. However, I do follow Lent, to a degree. I do not give up something, or abstain from the little joys of life; instead I try to pick up something new - perhaps exercise every day, or have a healthier meal, or learn a new skill. Worship should not always be about sacrifice and fear. Sometimes we need a little joy, a few moments of fun and perhaps a little challenge too.

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The other article I noticed was entitled: "Stressed out? Have a little faith", and subtitled: "Religious students remain calmer in the face of errors, study shows".

There are massive flaws in this, which were immediately obvious. They tested 28 people, all of which were required to fit neatly into a named religion-box and asked questions such as whether they would go to war for their faith, or whether their faith was based on objective truth. May I point out, at this point, that neither of these questions quite answer the degree of someone's faith! War for faith depends on the threat presented, and I have never met anyone who could actually say, with vague cohesion, that their faith is objective! A religion separated from personal emotion and opinion - only presenting facts - is not a religion. A religion requires faith, requires that extra moment of emotion that guides your heart, that moment of belief and hope and all associated feelings. Religion for most peole is not rational - it certainly cannot be claimed to be fully rational for all people.

Despite these challenges, the results were that those who were of a strong religion, and thus had a regulated structure or lens through which they view the world were less likely to become stressed when faced with challenges. As far as I am concerned, this is rather obvious. There is less uncertainty, less judgement required in general situations and there is perpetually a wider picture, a sense of being one in a multitude, rather than an isolated unit.

Many Jewish survivors of the Holocaust experienced the same concept at a deeper level; their faith was persecuted because it is so strongly grounded in the here and now, in the truth of this moment and the authority of their traditions, thus prioritising their faith over the authority of the state. But it was precisely this grounding in the present moment that allowed them to survive more strongly and defiantly than the otherwise may have; each moment was, and still is a gift from God and each law must be followed in this moment, each prayer relates to the past and the future, but to both of those elements seen from the second in which the prayer is said. Their reality is daily, earthly and yet still sacred.

I would like to believe that many UU's have the same idea - focussing on the importance of living mindfully and kindly in this moment, seeing the past and future as part of that interdependent web of life that is not only material and spiritual, but also wonderfully temporal. I wonder, if we were faced with such persecutions, would we bear them that well and hold to the importance of dignity and worth? I hope I would. It is my dream to say, one day, that I am certain of that.

20 Feb, 2009 - Joy and Sorrows

I received a message from a lecturer in my previous university's department today, asking how I was. The kindness of this lecturer is wonderful - she always holds humanity high and never treats her students as numbers. She wrote of news, and a little gossip, and plans in the pipeline. I was delighted to hear from her.

I had the honour, a few times in my life, to meet Prof. Sally, and listen to hear speak. I found out today that she passed away a few weeks ago from a massive brain hemorrhage. I did not know her well, but her loss is a sad one. She was a wonderful scholar and from what I have heard from others, a wonderful teacher and friend. I am saddened that I cannot light a candle for her in the chapel on Sunday, but I shall take a candle with me on my travels, and light that for a moment.

Amongst this sad news, there is some joy - I found out in the same message that a previous lecturer of mine is getting married to another member of the department. I wish him and his future wife all the joy in the world.

Thus, the world continues, in balance, the good with the bad. It is always worth remembering that sadness is always followed by moments of joy, and visa versa.